Ok so about two weeks ago, I find out I am going to have this homework assignment that both, frightens me and excites me at the same time. The assignment is to make a full body self portrait of myself that is representable more than realistic. Ok cool. I've taken a typography class many years ago, and I've gone to graphic design classes. It's going to be fun. Then my teacher goes, Oh. It's going to be as large as you are in real life.

*blink... blink blink.* And all I can think is. "Ok then."

Now, those few of you who know me in real life, know how tall I am. I can look over the heads of most crowds. I'm 6'2" and I can stick out like a sore thumb in some crowds. I'm tall even for playing woman's basketball, witch because I was so sick of being hounded in middle school by the coaches, I quit playing, and it was something I enjoyed playing. OH! And silly me. when I'm laying on the floor and the other students are measuring out the paper next to me, I asked for more. MORE I TELL YOU!. So now I'm staring at a roll of thick paper that is about 3 feet wide, maybe more (But I'm telling myself it's 3 feet for my own sanity.)and when I roll it out, it's going to be over 6'8" long. Aside from the larger sheep of paper that it came from, that was the entire roll, this is the biggest piece of paper that I have ever seen.

Again, I'm very excited, and slightly intimidated by this piece of paper. The only way that I think I'm going to be able to work on this project at home, is by taping the humongous page to a wall, and hoping that my inks don't bleed too far through it.

For those of you who haven't read the top of the journal for some reason, like it says. I have a desk. For all the years that I have been on DA here, I have been working on my art work without the aid of a desk. Normally I accomplish my work sitting on the floor with one of those artist boards in my lap. Even back when I did acrylic and water color paintings. Something I'm hoping to start up again.

I haven't had a desk because of my lack of space.If I had a place to put a desk, it would be in the way, so, when I was at the second hand store the other day, and I found a heavy duty folding desk that I could fold down and shove behind my dresser, I jumped on it. There was only one problem. I didn't have a car to carry it home for me. So I called up Ayesac, and we took turns carrying it on foot for the 8 or so blocks it took to get it home.

Did I mention that thing was heavy? Or at least the desk felt like it gained weight by the time we got it home. It was money that I really didn't expect to spend, but it's something that I've needed for a long time.

Warning. This journal entry will make you hungry.

It's funny. What I think about most this time of year is what I can either make a head in a slow cooker, or what fits in the oven for a few hours. I've wanted to make a large batch of this hot coco recipe I have, that lasts us all winter long. It's a home made powdered mix using powdered milk and things like that. The other big thing that I want to buy is a gimungus bag of pinto beans. Gahh! This weather makes me want to set up camp fires in the back yard and have a pot of chili that has been cooking all day, set out with friends seated in lawn chairs and on the grass.

There's so much crap that I want to make right now, it's ridiculous. Like chicken soup, stew, mashed potatoes, pumpkin apple muffins, oatmeal cookies, and sweat potato fries. I quieted one of my cooking urges last night with stuffed green peppers. I'd never made them before and much of what I'd done with them, recipe wise, was off of the top of my head. It took 3 hours to cook right in the pot, and probably could have gone another hour if I really wanted to peppers cooked through, but it was still wonderful tasting.

There are only a few bad things about cooking. 1: when the cats want to help, and 2: having to do so many dishes.

I absolutely love spending time at the county fair. It's not because I go watch shows, or go on the rides. It's because I have friends who show animals there, and for just one week, I'm able to spend time with people I used to be able to be very close to, but now only seem to be able to visit with them, once or twice a year.

I spent the past week helping out with a multitude of animals, including but not limited to bearded dragons, chinchillas, guinea pigs, dogs, and horses or all sizes. I grew up showing animals at the county fair, and because of that I'm still recognized by people I don't even remember. Yes there are things that become frustrating from other individuals, but when I dig past the nasty politics, that I know are killing my fair, there are things are good that happen as well.

I was given the chance to show, Bell, My friends spotted Draft horse, Friday. Of course I took the opportunity right away and when I was getting her ready outside the show ring when a group of individuals approach us. They were from a group home and consisted of three care givers, and three people in wheel chairs with different ranges of disabilities. They asked if they could touch Bell, and I was going to say no.

I've been showing horses since I was 12 years old, at the county fair. People always ask if they can pet your horse, and to be honest, after 13 years, giving permission, or not giving permission becomes routine. With the last horse that I showed in 4H, Abe, I would always say yes, as long as he was out of the stall, but with Bell, I really didn't know what to expect until she told me with her body language.

Her ears perked forward, and her head lowered so her eyes were level with the closest young man in the wheel chair. She didn't disobey me by taking a step forward, but she was leaning, just waiting for permission, so I said yes.

I'm never going to forget the first of the group, to pet her. He couldn't of been older than I am but his arms had trouble stretching out, so that his hands could reach more than 8 inches away from his body. I expected Bell just to look at him. maybe sniff his chair. Of course this isn't what happened, and the horse nearly gave me a heart attack when stepped closer to him to put her nose nearly in his lap. I was frozen, She wasn't doing what I had trained her to do, witch was to stand away from a person's personal space, yet the smile the man got on his face when she stepped so close stopped me from correcting her and pushing her back.

Bell was holding perfectly still, with her nose just above this man's lap. He was having trouble working his arms to touch her, and she was just standing there waiting. Suddenly it hit me. Bell knew she had to stand this close to the man in the wheel chair to let him pet her. I can't explain how she knew this, or why she wanted to do this, but for over a minute, she stood with her nose nearly in his lap, waiting for his hands to work for him. When his fingers finally started to brush against Bell's nose, his face lit up into the biggest grin I've ever seen.

Bell spent a minute or two letting that man pet her, then with no cue from me, moved on to the second, then the third. The process repeating as if Bell had been letting people in wheelchairs pet her for her entire life.

This summer has to of been the oddest summer of my life. It's been so odd that I never even made my normal "My how the time has flown, it's my birthday" journal that I normally make in June. Now I'm saying "My how the time has gone by, my birthday was over a month ago." journal.

It's true. I'm now 25 years old and have been officially 25 years old since June 23 but at the same time, I don't feel like I should be that old. Maybe it's because this year, there have been a lot of changes in my life. Specifically in the last 3 months. Things that I know are never going to be the same again. Both the bad, and the good. The best way for me to describe this time of my life is to say, I've discovered who I'm friends with still. Who I love and will always love no matter what, and who know I will always be able to count on. As well as how much I need to count on myself. What I am capable of accomplishing.

As a result of the changes going on for me, my computer time and time here on DA will be much more far and few in between, but maybe that, in it's self, is a good change too.